


Parallel Hearts

by NerdTree



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdTree/pseuds/NerdTree
Summary: Two Kuroo's, two universes, one body. Kuroo is studying for a chemistry test. But Kuroo is also grieving over the loss of his best friend. What happens when one Kuroo get sucked through space to his alter's body? Will his friends realise? And what's really going on here?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33
Collections: Haikyuu!! AU BigBang 2019





	1. Who am I?

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my Haikyuu Big Band 2019 submission. I'd like to thank @kayadex (instagram)//@kayadex_ (twitter) for the art piece to go with it - go check it out if you have time. It's well worth it!
> 
> I'd also like to thank ouraniaastraea (on tumblr) for beta-ing this work too!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, and go give these guys some love too!

There was a week in Kuroo’s life where he honestly couldn’t believe anything that happened. Was it all a dream? Had he been too stressed out? He honestly didn’t know. Maybe he had been sick. But if he was ever asked, he’d swear it was real. If he had been studying philosophy, or maybe some other subject that dealt with something that may not exist, or some theory that no one has ever proved, his friends may have been more skeptical. But no, Kuroo Tetsurou at 19 years of age studied Chemistry at University. And that is where this all begins. Where the week that changed his view on life and the entire universe began.

  
  


\---

  
  


“Hey, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Kuroo called out to his friends, Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru. At first, he had been surprised to learn that they would be attending the same university as him, but they hit it off well on the first week of classes and had hung around together ever since.

“Make sure he’s able to walk tomorrow, Hajime!” Kuroo’s best friend, Bokuto Koutarou, yelled at the retreating couple. They lived close to each other since they weren’t able to find accommodation together this year. Kuroo nudged him to tell him to stop teasing, but the other just grinned even wider.

“What? It’s true. We have a game. Can’t have our setter being out of action,” he mused - Kuroo just rolled his eyes. They headed down the street to where they lived, talking about the usual, this and that. Finally, Bokuto reached his block of flats that was only a couple of minutes away from Kuroo's. 

“You coming in today?” Bokuto asked, and the raven shook his head.

“Nah, I can’t, I still got that exam coming up soon remember? I can’t slack off til after that,” he shrugged, pulling a face. Bokuto let out a snort.

“You’re the smartest guy in class, and you’re still gonna study for it?” he asked incredulously, but Kuroo just laughed as he began walking away.

“Can’t be the smartest if I don’t study!” he returned, shaking his head at his best friend as he walked just up the road to his own home, sighing and calming down. Bokuto was  _ always _ a burst of energy, and sometimes it took a lot out of Kuroo to keep up. Not that he didn’t enjoy it, but it made him extremely grateful for his quiet home.

Throwing his bag on the chair by his desk, he sat down on his bed, letting out a tired sigh. It had most certainly been a long day, and he was even more tired than usual. He looked wistfully over at his bag and the mere thought of how much studying he needed to do gave him a headache. Maybe he should get some food first, he thought, pushing himself off the bed to grab a quick snack. After getting something from the fridge, he made his way back to his desk, planning to look over some inorganic chemistry. But the urge to sleep really was getting to him, and he had barely eaten anything before he was drawn back to his bed to take a nap. He even set an alarm to wake him up in an hour or so to get some studying done.

\---

Hours later, the alarm didn't wake Kuroo up, for he was not in his own body anymore so to speak. Well technically speaking, he still was, but just in a different place. A  _ very _ different place.

Kuroo was woken with a knock on the door, in a room that he didn’t recognise. It had everything that he liked, and even the papers on the desk were in his writing, but he hadn’t written them, or at least, not that he remembered. 

The next thing he noticed was that he was hungry - starving. But that couldn’t be. He’d just gotten food with Bokuto, Iwaizumi and Oikawa not an hour ago, right?

“Hey, Kuroo?” a voice called from outside the room. The knocking had stopped.

“Oh...uh yeah? Come in,” he replied instinctively. He recognised the voice, but it seemed different. A familiar face appeared round the door, but with longer hair.

“Iwaizumi?” Kuroo questioned.

“W-what are you doing here?” he continued,  _ What am I doing here is the better question, and why does he have long hair? A wig? No… _ Kuroo couldn’t make heads nor tails of this situation. He was utterly confused.

“It’s your first day back at work, or did you lose track of the date?” Iwaizumi mused. This did not seem like the Iwaizumi that Kuroo knew.

“Ah, I must have. Gimme a second to get ready,” he told him, pulling on some clean clothes that were both smart and casual. After all, he didn’t know where he worked, or what the hell was going on. A dream perhaps? He wasn’t sure. Kuroo made his way outside the apartment, locking up with the keys he’d found on the dresser by the door.

"Ready?" Iwaizumi asked, running his fingers through his longer hair and moving it out of his face.

"Yeah," Kuroo agreed, though to what he had no idea. "What's everyone been working on lately. You know, at work…" he trailed off. He was trying to get a feel for what he'd actually be doing. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at Kuroo. 

"Are you joking, or have you really been that out of it?" he asked. Kuroo laughed guilty in response. 

"Dude, you've only been working on the biggest project ever. Overseeing the engineering of the future power source. It's a pretty damn big deal. You must have been on some wack meds to forget that," Iwaizumi chuckled.

Power sources, engineering, overseeing… and meds? This was way beyond anything Kuroo could have dreamed up. Right? He nodded.

“Ah, yeah, of course. Just a bit out of it,” he laughed it off. The two walked in silence for a while, before Kuroo noticed two familiar figures waiting for them.

“Bokuto, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi greeted. Their heads turned at their names being called, and their faces brightened as their eyes fell on Kuroo.

“Kuroo-!”

“Kuroo-san-!” they said at the same time, evidently glad to see him. Why though, he wasn’t sure. He gathered he’d been off for a while, but surely his friends would have come and see him. They did usually see him when he wasn’t in this dream world. He shrugged it off.

“Hey,” he greeted simply, still unsure. Bokuto made his way over and his hand clapped Kuroo's shoulder in a greeting.

“Glad you’re back. Oikawa’s been drunk with power subbing in for you,” Bokuto told him, cueing the protests from the brunette. Kuroo cracked a small smile even though he was still reeling from this whole experience. 

  
  


The four of them headed into the centre of the city, towards the taller buildings, where Oikawa and Kuroo separated from the others to go to the management building, where Kuroo signed in. Somehow this dream him had the same dumb passwords as him. It made him chuckle - this whole facility was secured by some passwords that were probably too dumb for crimials to even think about guessing. Kuroo shook his head lightly as he followed Oikawa into a glass lift ‘Fancy’ Kuroo’s brain couldn’t help but comment.

_ No, this is a dream…  _ he rolled his eyes mentally. But even so, the fact that his mind could come up with something so amazing alarmed him a little. He hadn’t been watching any weird mecha fantasy anime lately. He had been too busy reviewing the content for his chemistry test.  _ Shit. _ He should have woken up at the yank in his gut at not revising - the panic and stress. But he didn’t. At that thought, everything here felt weird and foreign, but all too real for him, and a frown overcame his features. 

The rest of the day blurred by as Kuroo continued trying to figure out what was even going on. He could come up with no rational explanation for all of this, and before he knew it, he was walking home with his three friends. Or were they his friends? Everything was wrong.

“Tiring first day?” Bokuto asked. Kuroo glanced over as he felt a hand on his shoulder, the thoughts he had just been labouring over slipping from the forefront of his mind.

“Oh, yeah. I’m ready for a good night’s rest,” he told them, the corner on his mouth quirking up slightly. It wasn’t a lie. He really could do with a rest.

“Well, rest up, we don’t want you off your A game!” Oikawa told him. It was more of a scold, which Kuroo thought was weird. Since when was Oikawa  _ responsible _ ? And why the hell would Kuroo make him responsible in a dream?

Even so, Kuroo didn’t notice the gaze from Iwaizumi piercing through him, reading him like a book. And when he did, it was rather disconcerting.

“Of course. A full 8 hours. Got it,” he rolled his eyes a little. When, even in his usual life did he ever get 8 hours of sleep a night? Never was the correct answer. 

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow then!” he called, as he and Iwaizumi went one way, back to their building, and the other two continued down the same path.


	2. Who are we?

“So, spill,” were the first words out of Iwaizumi when they were out of hearing range from the others. Kuroo was taken back slightly.

“Spill what?” he asked, honestly.

“Why you’re so happy? Is it drugs? Alcohol? There’s no way in hell you go from your state yesterday to... _ this.  _ You seem to have forgotten that it was me who looked after you for the past few weeks, Tetsurou,” Iwaizumi scolded him. 

Kuroo stood there astounded. He’d even forgotten that they were supposed to be walking.

“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I be happy?” he asked cautiously. There was definitely something fishy going on right now. He watched as Iwaizumi’s face went from anger through confusion and finally to curiosity.

“Who are you?” he finally asked. Kuroo gaped slightly.

“Who do you think I am? Who do I look like?”

“You look like my best friend Kuroo Tetsurou, but if you were, you’d still be a fucking mess,” Iwaizumi told him.

“I  _ am  _ Kuroo Tetsurou,” he told him slowly, like he was testing the words in his mouth. “Wait...are you telling me this isn’t a dream?”

At that, Iwaizumi’s eyes widened.

“You...you think this is a dream?” he asked, the shorter’s hands began to shake. Whether it was with anger or something else, Kuroo didn’t know.

“Well, I sat down on my bed to take a nap before revising for a chemistry test, and the next moment you’re banging on my door telling me to get dressed and ready for work,” Kuroo explained. He wasn’t sure if he should be telling someone from his dream about the real world. But Iwaizumi wasn’t having the reaction he thought he would. People in dreams usually tried to convince you that it wasn’t a dream, right?

“So- you won’t know then...if you’re not Kuroo- uh, our Kuroo,”Iwaizumi mumbled quietly, before continuing to walk back to their building. Kuroo frowned.

“Know what?” 

“Kenma. He died here.”

That was definitely not what Kuroo was expecting, and it took a moment for him to process it. He felt his chest clench, but again, it felt like this body was foreign to him. He knew Kenma was ok. He’d spoken to him, albeit with some reluctance from the lazy blonde - but he knew he was ok. So why were his hands shaking like this?

“Oh... ” was all he could say. Iwaizumi’s gaze softened at that.

“So you really didn’t know. I can’t be angry at you for that. But I do want to know who you are,” he told Kuroo, who wasn’t really listening. “Kuroo?”

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, blinking as he snapped out of the vicious cycle his thoughts had got him into.

“I said I want to know who you are,” he repeated as they reached their apartment. “You’re obviously Kuroo, that’s fair to say, but you’re not the Kuroo that we know.”

The bed-headed raven nodded. “But I’m super tired right now...can we discuss this tomorrow or something?” he asked, stifling a yawn as he did. It was evident that Iwaizumi wanted to discuss it now, but he held his tongue and nodded.

“Go ahead, but I’m waking you up earlier tomorrow so we can talk,” he told Kuroo, who just nodded. 

“I figured. Night Hajime,” he mused, before heading back to the room that he’d woken up in. It was so weird going to bed in the bed that was his but also wasn’t. The second he laid down he was asleep…

  
  
  
  


...in that world. Back in his day world, he woke up and groaned in relief. He was back. Mentally, he was pretty tired, but physically he was refreshed. Maybe it had just been a dream… Even so, the first thing he did was to grab his phone and shoot Kenma a message; “You still alive?”

It was ironic really. He’d sent it before he could even process it. Throwing his phone back he let out a chuckle. Maybe he should look up about lucid dreaming, because that had been hella realistic - almost too realistic for him. A few minutes later he got a message back, and he rolled his eyes at the answer. “No.” Sarcastic little sod, was all Kuroo could think, and he just sighed. Well, at least it wasn’t some foretelling dream. That would have been even more weird. Not that he wanted it to be. It was plenty weird enough as it was.

“Hey! Tetsu! You alive?!” a familiar voice practically yelled as his door was about to be broken down. That phrase. It was so common, and yet, Kuroo had never given it a second thought. Why was he now?

“Yeah gimme a sec Koutarou!” he called back, opening the door after he’d pulled on a t-shirt. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go to classes today. Maybe after that dream he should just rest and get his bearings back.

“You ok? You seem a little out of it,” Bokuto asked, walking past him to the kitchen as per usual.

“Yeah, just a little tired. Had a weiiirrddd dream last night- have you still not been shopping?” he asked, rolling his eyes and grinning as he followed the owl into the kitchen. He definitely preferred this over-familiar Bokuto than the one in his dream. He was too … polite? Was that even a thing?

“Nope. Come with me after class?” he suggested, and Kuroo clicked his tongue. Well now he had to go. He wasn’t sure whether to thank or curse Bokuto.

“Sure, whatever. Just don’t eat it all at once,” he teased, a small smirk on his face. This was the banter he liked, not some serious conversation about whether one of his closest friends was alive or not.

**I agree** .

“What?” Kuroo asked, glancing up at Bokuto.

“Mm? I didn’t say anything,” he replied with a mouthful of bagel, frowning a little. He swallowed down the food before speaking again. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, just tired. Didn’t sleep too well last night,” he told him, shrugging it off easily. It wasn’t a lie. But he was sure he’d heard a voice just then - and the more he thought about it, the more he was sure it sounded like his own voice. Maybe he really was overworking himself.

“Are you ready to go?” Kuroo asked, trying to put it out of his mind. He’d think about it some other time if he remembered. He’d rather just put all of last night behind him.

“Yep. Let’s go,” Bokuto said, grabbing another bagel and heading back towards the door with his bag on his back. Kuroo just clicked his tongue.

“Such a thief…” he shook his head, but chuckled.

Instead of going to class when he went separate ways to Bokuto, he went to the library to look up on dreams. He didn’t know why - he had planned to go to class and take his mind off it, but he just found himself here anyway looking through books that weren’t making any sense. Or maybe it was the other way round. Maybe it was Kuroo’s dreams that weren’t making sense. He let out a groan of frustration and his forehead soon found itself against the desk he was sat at with his eyes closed as he tried to find any logical explanation.

**Are you so sure you’re dreaming?**

His eyes shot open and he looked around. There was no one nearby him. Not close enough to have spoken to him that clearly - though they were giving him funny looks. He couldn’t blame them - he probably looked like a stressed rat, with his hair at even more unbelievable angles than normal. At this point he couldn’t be sure he wasn’t mad. Other people certainly did. Hearing voices? That can’t be normal. But if he thought it was normal, wouldn’t that make him mad? But even so, he was hearing them…

“Gahh-” he groaned again, sitting back and taking a breath. Should he mention it to Bokuto? No, he’d probably pass it off as a joke or a prank close to exams. Iwaizumi? Too serious. He’d tell him to go check into a mental institute or something. Oikawa? Well he was calmer than Bokuto, but less serious than Iwaizumi. But he was a gossip. This wasn’t something he wanted going around the university. They already thought he was crazy.

That left Kenma. But Kuroo was already hearing some sort of rejection at the thought. Well, sure, it would be weird telling him that he died in his dream. And talking to him about it when he was already stressing over exams. At that, Kuroo had to scoff. Kenma, stressing? He’d never heard of such a thing. Someone else would probably be stressing for him. Maybe he could just drop him a message. He went to pick up his phone when;

**He’s dead.**

He fumbled briefly as his breath stopped momentarily at the thought. Ok. He definitely wasn’t imagining it. The voice. It sounded exactly like him, and in the silent library, there should be other people looking around at a voice  _ that _ loud. He stood up abruptly and messaged Bokuto apologising and telling him he was feeling sick, so he was heading home now. They could go shopping another time. It wasn’t like Kuroo was short on food. Bokuto could live off his stuff for a bit. Kuroo meanwhile needed to figure out what the hell was happening to him. 

After a flurry of activity - putting books away and rushing home - Kuroo dumped his bag in his room and sat down.

“Alright I don’t know who or how you’re doing it, but good prank, you can come out and spill now,” he said to his room. His empty room. With no bugs, hidden speakers, or hidden cameras. This was real. It was happening. And now he was talking to himself. Great. He really was going round the bend.

  
  


It was earlier than yesterday, and Kuroo was trying to get through some work to regain some normality to his life - he had to remind himself it had only been one night, since it felt like he had been in his dream before. A wave of sleepiness came over him while he was sitting at his desk, and he nearly nodded off. He caught himself though, and grumbled out some complaints at himself and the work in front of him. It didn’t last long though, before he was pretty much passed out in his chair against his desk.


	3. One and the Same

“Tetsurou!” The male jolted awake at the sound of his own name, blinking in surprise and looking up at none other than Iwaizumi. The same one from his dream. He was back. He sighed. It wasn’t a one time fluke dream then.

“Mn...I’m awake Hajime,” he mumbled tiredly. The other clicked his tongue in irritation.

“I told you I was going to wake you up earlier,” he rolled his eyes somewhat. Kuroo frowned a little. What had he been doing before he fell asleep.

“Crap! You made me fall asleep at my desk. I’m gonna have such bad back ache,” he sighed. At that Iwaizumi frowned for a moment, as though trying to figure out what he meant.

“Ah,” realisation came over his expression, “You’re still not the right Kuroo,” he stated, matter of factly, without questioning it. It seemed that Iwaizumi had also hoped that it was a one time thing.

“Unfortunately,” he replied dryly. There was a moment of awkward silence, and Kuroo closed his eyes again, sighing.

“Well, either way, I did say I was going to wake you up earlier today,” he mused. Kuroo just grumbled.

“Yes well, unlike you, when I’m asleep here I’m awake in my normal very ordinary life where I’m  _ trying _ to study for a test,” he grumbled. “But I guess I would rather get this sorted than pass a dumb test…”

Iwaizumi just watched, pondering over what Kuroo was saying as he spoke. That was something else Kuroo had noticed. This Iwaizumi was a lot more thoughtful than the one he knew.

“So when you’re asleep there, you’re awake here … correct?” he asked, with Kuroo nodding blearily. “You must be exhausted,” he breathed out. Kuroo nodded again.

“Not physically, but mentally. I just want to  _ not _ think for once. It would be nice to have a break…” he mumbled, before sitting up and stretching. He frowned slightly. Maybe this world would have something about hearing voices…?

“Hey, Hajime-” Kuroo started

“I never said you could call me that-”

“-What does this world think about people hearing voices?” he asked, and the other’s brow furrowed to match Kuroo’s own.

“Not much. Only that most people who ‘hear voices’ are crazy, why? Are you hearing them?” he asked. 

Kuroo nodded, letting out a frustrated sigh, before standing up - his stomach grumbled loudly. It snapped the two guys out of their own thoughtful stupors, and Iwaizumi’s gaze softened slightly.

“Come on, let’s go out and eat. We can talk to the others about this. Might as well tell them. Four heads are better than two,” Iwaizumi told him, running a hand through his longer hair.

“Wait, what day is it? Don’t we have work?” he asked, confused. It was Thursday wasn’t it? Iwaizumi let out a chuckle.

“It’s Thursday. We get Thursday and Friday off rememb- oh…” he realised sighing. “Sorry, it’s a little weird, thinking I’m talking to one of my closest friends. Well, I suppose I am...but you’re not entirely him.”

“It’s ok. We have Thursday and Friday off huh? Perfect. I’ll be able to spend more time here figuring stuff out with you guys then. I’ll sleep all day Saturday and Sunday back home,” Kuroo grinned. “But hopefully we’ll have this all sorted by then.”

Iwaizumi nodded in agreement, before heading to the door and telling him to meet him in the kitchen when he was dressed, and suggesting what to wear casually. After all, fashion was  _ totally _ different here. Kuroo smiled somewhat. He was glad that Iwaizumi here at least hadn’t alienated him immediately when he found out. Once Kuroo had sorted everything out, the two set out to meet up with Bokuto and Oikawa. This was going to be a wild ride. He was a little nervous actually, even with Iwaizumi’s reassurances. It wasn’t as though he’d been ruining everything.

“And besides, they probably already figured out something is off. Us talking to them will just stop them from worrying about extreme ideas,” Iwaizumi told him, chuckling a little.

Maybe this world wasn’t so different, Kuroo mused slightly. Well, that was until he asked what ideas. They weren’t about aliens or anything that he expected. They were all about some industrial engineering type of insanity, or obsession. How was that extreme? Kuroo had no idea, but this wasn’t his home, so he couldn’t assume anything.

The rest of the walk to the social sector of the city was quiet. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but just a general lull in conversation. Kuroo figured that Iwaizumi was still trying to process what was going on, because Kuroo sure as hell still was. But he wasn’t alone now, and he was going to be talking to people who understood this place better than he ever could. Perhaps that would give him some insight into what was happening.

  
  


\---

  
  


“-well in the movies isn’t there always some sort of witch or magic involved?” Bokuto asked.

“Yes, but Bokuto, witches and magic don’t exist. Don’t you think we’d be using them to help create an energy source if they did?” Oikawa responded, shaking his head slightly. There was a short silence before Iwaizumi spoke up.

“I think Bokuto might be on the right lines…” he said slowly, as though testing the words in his mouth before saying them. Oikawa practically scoffed.

“Oh come on, not you too Iwaizumi,” he groaned, taking a breath as though to prepare a rant at them.

“Not magic or witches. But balance,” Iwaizumi elaborated. The three remained silent, as though inviting Iwaizumi to continue. “Oh don’t make me spell it out. We knew our Kuroo would take it the worst with Kenma’s accident,” Iwaizumi told Kuroo, “so we went and found out as much as we could about how it could affect him, his mental state, and his work etcetera.”

Oikawa perked up then, as though remembering something. “Ohh, I see what you’re getting at. When you first told Iwaizumi that you weren’t Kuroo...our Kuroo, he asked if it was drugs didn’t he?” the brunette asked.

Kuroo nodded, still confused. He wasn’t all that familiar with grieving or mental states. He wasn’t a biologist or psychologist. But he was internally smiling. If he was the Kuroo in this universe, he’d be eternally grateful to have friends like this.

**But there’s no Kenma here,** the voice in his mind told him.

“So you’re saying it’s some sort of coping mechanism or something?” he asked, looking between the three of them.

“Something like that. If you hadn’t said that you thought this was a dream, I would have thought you were trying to pretend like it never happened, and bollocked you on the spot. 

Forgetting Kenma is not the way to grieve,”

**Forgetting Kenma isn’t the way to grieve**

Iwaizumi finished and the voice whispered in the back of his mind at the same time. It was almost freaky. But Kuroo was starting to get a picture of what was happening. The voice, this world, and Kenma. That’s what this all revolved around.

“I think I get what’s going on, but I don’t understand it,” he replied slowly. “The voice that I’m hearing. I think it’s him - uh - your Kuroo. That’s weird to say. I don’t know how, but I think...with the grief of everything he withdrew into himself. Don’t ask me how that sucked me here, I’m just going off with what I know.”

Silence fell over the four as they thought it over.

“So you’re telling me that our Kuroo can hear everything?” Bokuto asked. Kuroo nodded.

**Only if I want to.**

“Then tell the idiot to come back,” Oikawa continued, voice stern. That still weirded Kuroo out. This Oikawa was  _ far _ too responsible.

“I don’t think it works like that. In…at home, for me, Kenma is still alive. I won’t see him often this year. But your Kuroo can follow me there. Being there probably is a stab in the gut every time I talk to him,” he sighed, guilt starting to eat at him, as well as a little panic. What if they couldn’t resolve this by then?

“He’s such a dumbass…” Iwaizumi sighed, with a frown on his face as he ran a hand through his hair. It seemed like this wasn’t only stressful for Kuroo.

“But...that’s not Kenma…” Bokuto said plainly, tilting his head, confused as to what Kuroo meant. That just confused the rest of them, and Kuroo felt a similar emotion from the voice in his mind.

“What do you mean Koutarou?” Oikawa asked slowly.

“What? Kenma...the Kenma in your home, Kuroo, isn’t our Kenma. Sure, they might look the same, act the same, have the same name, but it’s not Kenma. Just like you’re not Kuroo. I don’t wanna be rude but I don’t really like you being here. I know it’s not your fault, and I don’t dislike you, but without Tetsu it just doesn’t feel right. It feels wrong enough without Kenma, but now Tetsu…it’s not right…” he trailed off.

Without warning, Kuroo felt a surge of frustration - not coming from him, but coming from inside him, and then his mouth was moving.

“ **I’m not dead** ,” he had said, but it wasn’t him. That was  _ weird.  _ The feeling subdued and he blinked in surprise.

“That wasn’t me,” he told the three. There was a knotting feeling forming in his stomach as he watched the other three react all at once.

The rest of the evening was spent with them talking about ways to resolve the...situation. Kuroo felt a little better about everything. Something had changed from before. He could feel the other Kuroo in his mind now rather than him being able to hide. Whatever Bokuto had done seemed to have drawn him out somewhat. 

Finally, Kuroo and Iwaizumi were walking home, well, to Kuroo’s home. It was quiet. They both had a lot to think about.

“Is...is our Kuroo listening now?” Iwaizumi asked suddenly, out of the blue. Kuroo frowned slightly but nodded.

“I think so, yeah,” was the reply. Truth be told, Kuroo didn’t know, but with how much the other Kuroo tried to deny hearing everything, it was suspicious to him. And if he was hearing Iwaizumi, then everything in his head would be too - including the other Kuroo.

“I just wanted to talk to him. Tell him that we’re all still here. We’re his friends too. I don’t want him pushing us away when we’re all going through the same thing,” Iwaizumi sighed. It seemed as though Iwaizumi was using everything he had to try and figure out a way for his Kuroo to come back to them. 

_ You have amazing friends here, I know you heard him. They’re willing to do anything to get you back. I’m almost jealous, and I have the same friends as you,  _ Kuroo thought to his counterpart.

**I hear them. And I appreciate them. But can you imagine Kenma’s death? How hard it is for me...for us to process, to cope with?** was the reply he got.

“He’s listening. He hears you, and he does appreciate you all...I’ll try my best Iw-Hajime,” he told the other, who seemed a little perturbed by the silence, though relaxed when Kuroo spoke. He almost looked like he wanted to correct Kuroo for calling him by his given name, but it was almost like an understanding formed between them. They’d been through this together, and it was something he accepted. He accepted Kuroo, even though it wasn’t  _ his _ Kuroo.

They arrived back, and Kuroo immediately made his way to the bedroom to collapse on the bed. He was so mentally exhausted. He hadn’t slept properly in days. Iwaizumi let him go, he had all day to talk to him. There wasn’t much rush.

_ Do you know how taxing it is living two lives and trying to act like you’re not clinically insane?  _ Kuroo grumbled in his head as he landed on his bed, feeling mild amusement from the annoying presence in his mind.

**No, and I don’t care for it if your level of grouchy is anything to go by,** the voice replied.

_ Whatever, loser. But you realise that if I carry on going like this I’m going to get severely ill. The longest a human has gone without sleep is 11 days. And that isn’t physical deterioration, it’s mental. No matter how refreshed my body or yours is, it won’t last,  _ Kuroo told him, sighing, and closing his eyes.

**It’s...hard. I can’t just come back. I know I have friends. But coming back means accepting that Kenma is gone. And I just can’t do that yet…** came the reluctant quiet reply.

Before replying, Kuroo stood up and moved over to the window, opening it and looking up at the sky, a small smile forming on his face. A different universe and yet the stars remained the same. He always calmed down looking at the sky. It made him realise how small and insignificant he was. How his actions meant next to nothing. If he failed, he wasn’t going to ruin that beauty.

“Kenma is probably up there, playing a game, or working on some sort of new theory to blow your mind. He’s not the most involved, but I know from how Iwaizumi, Bokuto and Oikawa spoke about you and him that he cared enough about you guys. He’d be disappointed if he knew you were too stubborn to move on without him. I remember my Kenma saying ‘ _ don’t let me hold you back _ ’ one time. I think that can be applied to this situation too…” Kuroo said to himself. But of course it wasn’t to himself as such, it was to his other self. 

There was no response from the presence in his mind, but he felt a shift. It was odd. Not bad, not negative, more of a sense of peace. It took a while for a response to enter his thoughts.

**Forgive but don’t forget. Grieve but don’t lose yourself. Acceptance is harder than denial, but I suppose I just took the easy way out…**

\---

And with that, Kuroo felt a weight lift off his shoulders. The last thing he could recall was looking up at the stars in that world, before waking up in his own room, at his desk. He jolted upright in his chair before wincing and groaning. His poor neck was in pieces. But he was back! Looking at the clock he could have cried. It was 3am. That meant 4 hours of sleep! Any other night he’d be devastated by the short time, but after what he had just endured he was overjoyed. He got some form of sleep.  _ Proper  _ sleep.

Somewhere in the back of his mind while he was asleep for those blissful few hours, he was aware of the other place. He was aware of Kuroo going out and talking to Iwaizumi. Telling him what had happened and apologising. He also asked him not to say anything to the others yet. He seemed to need some time to get used to being back. But having such good friends, he could trust and rely on Iwaizumi to do as he’d asked.

When Kuroo woke up to his alarm at 7am, he was absolutely elated. He was back. And on a friday too! What a day. Nothing could ruin his mood. He checked his phone and paled. Maybe something could spoil it. Of course, today was the day he had his chemistry exam. Maybe tomorrow would be better…

**Don’t worry. The least I can do to thank you is help you with a small test,** a familiar voice mused in his mind. Two minds are definitely better than one.


End file.
